Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The best day ever!!

I had the worst day.

I went to Cochise College ( at lunch to sign up for 2 classes. I'm trying to finish up my degree program. Anyway, they have two floors. of course, the two departments you need are located on each floor. Of course, you have to run the stairs between these two departments several times to get things finalized. God forbid, they call up or down.
On one of these trips up the damn stairs one of my nice leather dress shoes decides to become a flip flop. The right one separated from the sole to the heel. Fuck. So I have to spend another two hours running laps on the stairs before I am finally finished. Flap Flap Flap!
I get back to work and finish out the day. Today my work consisted of drifting from desk to desk answering questions and giving unsolicited advice to my students as they worked on a solo project. At the very end of the day my boss walks up behind me as I am bent over getting small trash bags from my secret stash.
"What the fuck, Hammor?"
"What?" I ask, straightening up. I thought he was going to be pissed I had hidden some small garbage bags since the entire building was "out".
"Why is your ass hanging out of your pants?" he looks down and notices the OD Green duck tape holding my shoe together. "I know what I pay you and you're rolling in the big bucks. Fix your shit and buy some decent clothes!"
I frantically feel my own ass only to find a huge gap in the seam between the waist line and the pant itself stretching from my ass crack around to my right front pocket. I didn't feel the breeze because I have neuropathy due to a service connected condition. I faintly hear my coworkers giggling and snickering from the nearby cubical pen. FUCK ME.
I smoke a cigarette in my old truck before heading home. I get off post and my damn beast of a truck runs out of gas 10 miles early. I have been trying to calculate the gas mileage since the fuel gauge is malfunctioning. It fluctuates between ALL GONE and FOR SOME REASON ITS STILL GOING. Its a total crap shoot. Today apparently the gas mileage was 10 MPG. Thankfully I have a gas can for just such occasions.
So I am at home typing this waiting for other shitty shit to happen to make this day the best fucking day ever. Oh yeah, I have been trying to get my books to parse to all the vendors served by draft 2 digital. All my books are at all vendors, except Apple. Apple refuses to accept Episode 2: Aluminum Butterflies for some reason. Fuck You Apple! Fuck You in your Goat Ass! I am in the process of removing all my books from Apple.

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